"Girl Earl" - Season 3

Earl is strutting around like the cat that not only got the cream, he also got a new wife. However, following a frenetic night in bed, Earl is happy to let a bucket of ice sit on his "husband parts" to ease the pain from Billie's energetic endeavors. Things get even better for Earl when Billie writes her own karma list; what luck to be part of a goal-sharing caring couple.
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However, Earl's love for sharing comes under scrutiny when Billie eats his chips. Not only that but she's also tracking his every move, has him dressing in super-skinny clothes and even walks into the bathroom while he pees! Randy tells Earl everyone does things others don't like; for instance, he cites Earl's habit of raising his eyebrow when he thinks. That's gross!
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Earl takes his mind off things by looking at Billie's list and finds a common name: Joel. Joel is a super-bagger from the grocery store and one year, while he was at the bagging championships, everyone in town stole everything from his apartment except the TV, which they left on so they could see when he was coming home. By the time Earl got there, everything was gone, so he took some of Joel's carpet.
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Earl visits Joy in her tipped-over trailer to retrieve Joel's carpet. While he's there he asks if she was annoyed by his habits. Joy tells him that's what marriage is; accepting other's bad habits. When he takes the gear back to Joel, Earl finds that Joel has become a recluse since the robbery. Earl apologizes for stealing his carpet.
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Joel tells Earl that when he got back from the competition to find his house ransacked, he punched the wall and broke his hand, which stopped him from winning the national bagging championships. Billie leaves after returning the fan she stole from Joel. Earl tells her they have to help him since they made his life worse. Billie doesn't see the point and Earl is stunned that his wife doesn't agree with him about the most important thing in his life: the list.
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Earl leaves Billie in the apartment and heads out to see how he can help Joel, who is now a lowly cleaner at the store. While they talk, Earl's cat-like reactions get Joel's attention and he decides that Earl should win the national bagging championships for him. As the pair begin a Rocky-style training regimen, Joel tells Earl not to see the food; feel the food.
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Earl becomes an expert bagger and wins the first and second round of the nationals, beating everyone on his way to the finals, where he is up against 12-time champion bagger, Vance. As Earl prepares for the big match in his dressing room, Billie comes in and tells him she's finished her list by calling everyone and saying sorry. This is the last straw for Earl and he flips out, poking Billie as he makes his point. Billie has bad memories of being poked, so she breaks Earl's finger.
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With his finger broken, the referee won't let Earl go out and bag for fear of losing his bagging license. Joel is still mad at Earl but Randy has an idea: they each have one good hand, so why don't they work together? Before Bagger Vance can be awarded the Golden Sack award, Earl and Joel step out and say they will fight, as a team, for the title. Besides, it isn't in the rules that they can't compete as a team.
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Earl and Joel step up and start to double bag. Working as a team, they keep pace with Bagger Vance, but things don't go as planned – their coordination is off. Bagger Vance creeps ahead and begins showboating for the crowd, but then he cuts his finger on that enemy of the bagger: the pineapple. Earl and Joel take their chance and using all their freestyle bagging skills, snag victory from the jaws of defeat!
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As Joel thanks Earl for helping him his reach his dream of being the national bagging champion, Billie apologizes to Earl for not putting her whole heart into her list after seeing how hard he'd worked to help Joel. Just when he thinks they might be beginning to see eye to eye on things, Billie tells Earl he needs to shave his mustache. There's only one thing Earl can think: "She's gotta go!"

"Love Octagon" - Season 3

After recovering from his coma, Earl can't get Billie off his mind. While in the Crab Shack, he comes to the decision that karma wants him to find her. He then discovers that while he was in his coma, Randy became the town crier and evicted Joy and the kids from her trailer while it is still lying on it's side. To top it off, Catalina has decided to become a Chapstick lesbian.
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Earl heads out to a halfway house where Frank is living. He wants to see if he can shed any light on the whereabouts of Frank’s ex-girlfriend Billie. But Frank's an inmate and wearing an electric collar which prevents him from leaving the house, so he can't help. Then Earl has an idea: he persuades Darnell to hire Frank to work in the Crab Shack. That way, Frank will be able to leave the house and help Earl look for Billie.
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Frank takes Earl and Randy to see Billie's cousin Jocelyn in the hope that she might be able to help them. While the others talk, Randy accidentally lets Jocelyn's parrot escape and runs outside to get it back. Frank turns on his charm and Jocelyn spills the beans about Billie. Apparently Billie’s gone off the rails – she robbed a liquor store the day she hit Earl and put him in his coma. Jocelyn gives Earl the pay phone number Billie called from.
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The trio make their way to Kenny's house to surf the web in the hope of finding more about Billie's whereabouts. They discover Kenny spends most of his time looking at a DILF website but they still manage to get a pay phone location to check out.
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While Earl, Randy and Frank stake out the pay phone, they come across Stuart Daniels, former cop and current bowler. Stuart tells them he hasn't seen Billie. He's lying. Stuart hit Billie with his car when she hit Earl. He tells them he spent days by her hospital bedside and when she woke up, he told her Earl was dead. Since then Billie’s been hiding from the cops in his apartment, scared of being arrested for Earl’s murder.
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Stuart and Billie run again, this time hiding out two doors down from Earl and Randy in the motel complex. Catalina delivers towels to the room and finds Billie just out of the shower. She uses the chance to try out being a Chapstick lesbian. It doesn't work. On her way out she bumps into Stuart and says she'll let Earl know they're neighbors.
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Earl, Randy, Darnell and Joy are in the Crab Shack. Darnell and Joy brush their teeth using the soda fountain as their trailer is still on its side. Earl has hit a dead end and asks karma what to do. Suddenly the phone rings: it's Kenny out at his place because of Kenny and Stuart’s "unique" friendship.
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Earl prepares to meet Billie but gets nervous as they arrive at Kenny's place. Frank is also affected by seeing Billie, who is his ex-girlfriend, and both guys decide they want her. After trading verbal blows they opt to go home for the night and come back clean and prepared tomorrow. Earl takes the opportunity to get Darnell to fire Frank so that he can't leave the halfway house the next day.
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Earl uses a list of Bret Michael's lyrics to make a poem for Billie. Meanwhile, Randy sees Jocelyn's parrot outside and makes a dash for it, leaving Earl to go get Billie by himself. On his way to Kenny's house Frank jumps Earl, tackling him to the ground. Meanwhile, inside, Billie tells Stuart she's going on the run by herself and makes Kenny tie himself and Stuart together. Kenny can't believe his luck!
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While Kenny and Stuart get close, Earl bursts into Billie's shack. Earl tells Billie she didn't kill him and confesses he thinks about her everyday. Frank runs inside but everyone ignores him. Stuart admits he was lying to Billie. Out of the blue, Catalina turns up and the bevy of suitors declare their love for Billie. Earl reminds Billie of the time when they both lost their way and yet found teach other. Billie can't resist and falls for Earl's charm, leaving Stuart and Kenny planning a future in Boca Raton with Jack Russell terriers.

"Killerball" - Season 3

Since Earl has been in the hospital for about a month, they decide it's time to kick him out. After giving Randy an offer he can't refuse, he takes Earl off their hands. Randy puts him in a shopping cart and off they go. Back in Earl's alternate world, time is flying by. Age has gotten the best of them, but now he spends his time remembering the good ole days.
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Randy runs into Patty, Camden's resident hooker, who offered him an old wheelchair to get Earl around. Back at the Crab Shack, Randy straps Earl in and off he goes. It has a huge sound system and everything. Darnell is a bit worried that Randy is taking care of Earl on his own, but Randy, determined to do it on his own, takes Earl on his daily activities.
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#241 on Earl's list was trailer park neighbor Derek. He was fired after getting to work late when Randy and Earl buried his car in dirt so he wouldn't interrupt their sleep during the day. When Randy goes to make amends with Derek, he finds out Derek's sold sold his car to the woman next door. When she gets into the car, Earl is in the backseat where Randy left him. She sprays him with pepper spray.
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Randy tries to find another item on the list that Earl can do while in his coma. Next, the Hansen kids. Earl and Randy were always jealous of the kids next door, Tiffany and Brett, because they got to go on great vacations. Trying to make amends, Randy fails by laughing at what happened to them when Earl and Randy stole their wheelchairs.
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Randy goes to go resuce Earl from the parking lot, where he is frying due to the sun. In Earl's alternate world, Randy pays them a visit. Back at the bar, Randy is getting Earl some sponge water. Tiffany from earlier has figured a way to let Randy cross her off the list. Make her ex-boyfriend jealous at his Killerball game.
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At the Killerball game Tiffany is working hard to make Earl look great. Joy and Darnell are concerned with Earl's appearance. Randy is confident that Earl just needs to cross something off his list to get better.
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The game gets heated when one of the players gets kicked off. Brett decides to put Earl in the game, so Randy does it. In Earl's alternate world, Earl continues to remember the crazy times in his life. Old Darnell and Joy come to visit them.
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Randy is using the joystick to keep Earl in the game. Earl even gets the ball at one point and Randy takes him to the goal to score and tie the game. However, Randy drops the joystick, which activated the boom box and bubbles on Earl's wheelchair. While Earl is rocking out in the chair, the game continues. Tiffany finally gets under her ex's skin and makes amends.
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Since Earl made the ex jealous and won Brett the game, Randy crosses them off the list. Plus, Derek even gets friendly with his neighbor who was afraid to drive alone since Earl frightened her in the car. So they started to carpool.
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Karma finally kicks in and his alternate world doesn't fit anymore. So, Earl walks off that set and back into reality.

"No Heads and a Duffle Bag" - Season 3

The time Earl ruined his parents' vacation was #9 on his list. Randy tells his parents he needs their help to cross this item off Earl's list while he's in a coma. Problem is, they didn't know he was in a coma. Joy lets it slip that he was hit by a car after they held an intervention for Earl because he was acting crazy after he got out of prison; a few other details his parents knew nothing about.
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At the hospital, his mother goes to find the doctor and his father sits bedside to discuss #9 on Earl's list. In a flashback Earl recalls the story. His parents left on the vacation while he and Randy stayed back to house-sit. Joy came over to booze it up with boys, but the liquor cabinet was dry, so they took a trip to the liquor store.
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While Joy and Earl wait for Randy to exit the liquor store, a young man puts his bag in the back of Earl's car to avoid the police car driving by. Earl, unaware, drives off with the bag in his trunk, only to discover it when they return to their parents house. The duffle bag is full of pot. Earl decides they need to sell it, but only to bad people, not to women and children. They return to the liquor store to purchase little baggies to put the drugs in. The original owner of the bag holds them at gun point and demands the bag back, so they take him to the house, only to discover their parents have returned.
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His parents are upset that Earl has turned their home into a drug den. Earl, still being held at gunpoint, asks his father where the bag of weed went. When his mother tells them they destroyed it, the man points the gun at Earl's father, who tells the man that it wasn't destroyed but thrown down a well. They decide to go retrieve it.
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When they step outside, his dad lets them know he did destroy it by burning it. In need of new weed to replace the destroyed stash, they go to the Crab Shack to ask for Darnell's help. Joy and his mother are left at home with the gunman.
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While the gunman is in the bathroom smoking, Earl's mom is sleeping upstairs, involuntary inhaling the smoke through the vents. Joy remains tied up in the living room. Earl's dad manages to sneak into the house to grab savings bonds they'll need to cash to get enough money to buy some weed. They end up at the very motel Earl and Randy will eventually call home. Catalina, the maid, shows them to a room where they can buy weed.
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Back at the house, Earl's mom comes downstairs with a contact high. She has cut her hair off and is high as a kite. The gunman is freaking out and doesn't know what to do with her.
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Earl, Randy and their dad are inside the hotel room meeting with a guy to purchase the weed. When things get a little out of control, Earl's dad turns the tables on the seller. He grabs the gun, throws the money at him and demands the weed.
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They return with the weed to find Earl's mom on the table pretending to fly. The gunman leaves with his weed. Back at the hospital, Earl's dad tells Earl that although they didn't go on the vacation, he didn't know what happened after that day. Earl's dad got such a rush from catching the bad guys that he teamed up with the police, returned to the motel, and bought more weed as part of a sting operation. The cops rushed in and arrested the dealers. Earl's dad was a hero.
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His dad let him know that although they weren't able to take their vacation, he did learn a valuable lesson; that if push came to shove, he was able to protect his family. He felt like a hero and it was the best feeling he ever had. So, his dad crossed the item off Earl's list and reminded him that he never gave up on him, and that he never will. Earl smiles, but remains in his coma.

"Stole A Motorcycle" - Season 3

In Earl's TV land, Billy confides in Joy that she is expecting a baby. Back in reality, Randy has Earl drool on the list to pick the next task he must cross off; "Stolen Motorcycle" is next up. In a flashback, Randy remembers when he and Earl stole the bike, drank some beer and ended up on a school bus without the bike.
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Randy lets Joy know that he has no idea what happened to that bike and tries to figure it out. In Earl's TV Land, Billy tells Earl she's pregnant. Earl is overjoyed by the news. Back in reality, Randy is on a mission to find the stolen motorcycle.
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Randy pays Jasper a visit, a man they use to sell the stolen items to in hopes he would know where to find the bike. But, Jasper didn't buy the motorcycle that day and suggested he check the crab shack where Randy was headed after their visit. Darnell lets Randy know that he recalls the day he and Earl brought the motorcycle in, but once they heard the cops were coming they drove off.
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Darnell suggested Randy go speak with Homeless Joe who saw them later that same night, so off his went. Homeless Joe told Randy that Earl tried to kill him that night. Devastated, Randy returns to the crab shack where Joy suggests Randy retrace his steps that night.
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Back in TV land, Earl and Billy are busy reading up on potential baby names, setting up the baby's crib and preparing for the birth. Back in reality, Randy, Joy and Darnell are on the hunt for clues that will hopefully lead them to the motorcycle.
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Their path leads them to the shriner's. There, a old shriner confirms that Earl and Randy were there that night and that Earl did in fact try to kill Randy. A picture on their wall confirms this and gives them their next clue: The Pantana.
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Joy, Randy and Darnell head to the location of The Pantana where they find the motorcycle. Once Randy saw the bike he remembered everything about the night they stole it. After they were kicked out of the crab shack, they needed to hide the bike from the cops and decided to leave it on the roof of a deaf mans trailer, also the location of The Pantana.
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Earl has the hiccups and when the cops arrive so Randy tries to quiet him by plugging his nose and Earl stops breathing. After Randy runs, thinking he killed Earl, Earl wakes up. Mad that Randy killed him, he grabs The Pantana and goes after Randy.
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Back in reality, feeling bad about accidently killing Earl, Randy jumps off the trailer to put himself in a coma, but it didn't work. Instead Joy, Darnell and Randy return the bike to the shop where they stole it. Then they return to the hospital where Randy, in tears, apologized to Earl for trying to kill him.
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Back in TV land, Billy had the baby in the hospital elevator and Randy comes to rescue them. While holding Earl's hand, Earl squeezes him back. Joy and Darnell go to get the doctors. Randy embraces Earl.