"Killerball" - Season 3

Since Earl has been in the hospital for about a month, they decide it's time to kick him out. After giving Randy an offer he can't refuse, he takes Earl off their hands. Randy puts him in a shopping cart and off they go. Back in Earl's alternate world, time is flying by. Age has gotten the best of them, but now he spends his time remembering the good ole days.
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Randy runs into Patty, Camden's resident hooker, who offered him an old wheelchair to get Earl around. Back at the Crab Shack, Randy straps Earl in and off he goes. It has a huge sound system and everything. Darnell is a bit worried that Randy is taking care of Earl on his own, but Randy, determined to do it on his own, takes Earl on his daily activities.
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#241 on Earl's list was trailer park neighbor Derek. He was fired after getting to work late when Randy and Earl buried his car in dirt so he wouldn't interrupt their sleep during the day. When Randy goes to make amends with Derek, he finds out Derek's sold sold his car to the woman next door. When she gets into the car, Earl is in the backseat where Randy left him. She sprays him with pepper spray.
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Randy tries to find another item on the list that Earl can do while in his coma. Next, the Hansen kids. Earl and Randy were always jealous of the kids next door, Tiffany and Brett, because they got to go on great vacations. Trying to make amends, Randy fails by laughing at what happened to them when Earl and Randy stole their wheelchairs.
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Randy goes to go resuce Earl from the parking lot, where he is frying due to the sun. In Earl's alternate world, Randy pays them a visit. Back at the bar, Randy is getting Earl some sponge water. Tiffany from earlier has figured a way to let Randy cross her off the list. Make her ex-boyfriend jealous at his Killerball game.
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At the Killerball game Tiffany is working hard to make Earl look great. Joy and Darnell are concerned with Earl's appearance. Randy is confident that Earl just needs to cross something off his list to get better.
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The game gets heated when one of the players gets kicked off. Brett decides to put Earl in the game, so Randy does it. In Earl's alternate world, Earl continues to remember the crazy times in his life. Old Darnell and Joy come to visit them.
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Randy is using the joystick to keep Earl in the game. Earl even gets the ball at one point and Randy takes him to the goal to score and tie the game. However, Randy drops the joystick, which activated the boom box and bubbles on Earl's wheelchair. While Earl is rocking out in the chair, the game continues. Tiffany finally gets under her ex's skin and makes amends.
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Since Earl made the ex jealous and won Brett the game, Randy crosses them off the list. Plus, Derek even gets friendly with his neighbor who was afraid to drive alone since Earl frightened her in the car. So they started to carpool.
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Karma finally kicks in and his alternate world doesn't fit anymore. So, Earl walks off that set and back into reality.

"No Heads and a Duffle Bag" - Season 3

The time Earl ruined his parents' vacation was #9 on his list. Randy tells his parents he needs their help to cross this item off Earl's list while he's in a coma. Problem is, they didn't know he was in a coma. Joy lets it slip that he was hit by a car after they held an intervention for Earl because he was acting crazy after he got out of prison; a few other details his parents knew nothing about.
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At the hospital, his mother goes to find the doctor and his father sits bedside to discuss #9 on Earl's list. In a flashback Earl recalls the story. His parents left on the vacation while he and Randy stayed back to house-sit. Joy came over to booze it up with boys, but the liquor cabinet was dry, so they took a trip to the liquor store.
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While Joy and Earl wait for Randy to exit the liquor store, a young man puts his bag in the back of Earl's car to avoid the police car driving by. Earl, unaware, drives off with the bag in his trunk, only to discover it when they return to their parents house. The duffle bag is full of pot. Earl decides they need to sell it, but only to bad people, not to women and children. They return to the liquor store to purchase little baggies to put the drugs in. The original owner of the bag holds them at gun point and demands the bag back, so they take him to the house, only to discover their parents have returned.
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His parents are upset that Earl has turned their home into a drug den. Earl, still being held at gunpoint, asks his father where the bag of weed went. When his mother tells them they destroyed it, the man points the gun at Earl's father, who tells the man that it wasn't destroyed but thrown down a well. They decide to go retrieve it.
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When they step outside, his dad lets them know he did destroy it by burning it. In need of new weed to replace the destroyed stash, they go to the Crab Shack to ask for Darnell's help. Joy and his mother are left at home with the gunman.
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While the gunman is in the bathroom smoking, Earl's mom is sleeping upstairs, involuntary inhaling the smoke through the vents. Joy remains tied up in the living room. Earl's dad manages to sneak into the house to grab savings bonds they'll need to cash to get enough money to buy some weed. They end up at the very motel Earl and Randy will eventually call home. Catalina, the maid, shows them to a room where they can buy weed.
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Back at the house, Earl's mom comes downstairs with a contact high. She has cut her hair off and is high as a kite. The gunman is freaking out and doesn't know what to do with her.
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Earl, Randy and their dad are inside the hotel room meeting with a guy to purchase the weed. When things get a little out of control, Earl's dad turns the tables on the seller. He grabs the gun, throws the money at him and demands the weed.
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They return with the weed to find Earl's mom on the table pretending to fly. The gunman leaves with his weed. Back at the hospital, Earl's dad tells Earl that although they didn't go on the vacation, he didn't know what happened after that day. Earl's dad got such a rush from catching the bad guys that he teamed up with the police, returned to the motel, and bought more weed as part of a sting operation. The cops rushed in and arrested the dealers. Earl's dad was a hero.
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His dad let him know that although they weren't able to take their vacation, he did learn a valuable lesson; that if push came to shove, he was able to protect his family. He felt like a hero and it was the best feeling he ever had. So, his dad crossed the item off Earl's list and reminded him that he never gave up on him, and that he never will. Earl smiles, but remains in his coma.

"Stole A Motorcycle" - Season 3

In Earl's TV land, Billy confides in Joy that she is expecting a baby. Back in reality, Randy has Earl drool on the list to pick the next task he must cross off; "Stolen Motorcycle" is next up. In a flashback, Randy remembers when he and Earl stole the bike, drank some beer and ended up on a school bus without the bike.
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Randy lets Joy know that he has no idea what happened to that bike and tries to figure it out. In Earl's TV Land, Billy tells Earl she's pregnant. Earl is overjoyed by the news. Back in reality, Randy is on a mission to find the stolen motorcycle.
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Randy pays Jasper a visit, a man they use to sell the stolen items to in hopes he would know where to find the bike. But, Jasper didn't buy the motorcycle that day and suggested he check the crab shack where Randy was headed after their visit. Darnell lets Randy know that he recalls the day he and Earl brought the motorcycle in, but once they heard the cops were coming they drove off.
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Darnell suggested Randy go speak with Homeless Joe who saw them later that same night, so off his went. Homeless Joe told Randy that Earl tried to kill him that night. Devastated, Randy returns to the crab shack where Joy suggests Randy retrace his steps that night.
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Back in TV land, Earl and Billy are busy reading up on potential baby names, setting up the baby's crib and preparing for the birth. Back in reality, Randy, Joy and Darnell are on the hunt for clues that will hopefully lead them to the motorcycle.
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Their path leads them to the shriner's. There, a old shriner confirms that Earl and Randy were there that night and that Earl did in fact try to kill Randy. A picture on their wall confirms this and gives them their next clue: The Pantana.
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Joy, Randy and Darnell head to the location of The Pantana where they find the motorcycle. Once Randy saw the bike he remembered everything about the night they stole it. After they were kicked out of the crab shack, they needed to hide the bike from the cops and decided to leave it on the roof of a deaf mans trailer, also the location of The Pantana.
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Earl has the hiccups and when the cops arrive so Randy tries to quiet him by plugging his nose and Earl stops breathing. After Randy runs, thinking he killed Earl, Earl wakes up. Mad that Randy killed him, he grabs The Pantana and goes after Randy.
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Back in reality, feeling bad about accidently killing Earl, Randy jumps off the trailer to put himself in a coma, but it didn't work. Instead Joy, Darnell and Randy return the bike to the shop where they stole it. Then they return to the hospital where Randy, in tears, apologized to Earl for trying to kill him.
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Back in TV land, Billy had the baby in the hospital elevator and Randy comes to rescue them. While holding Earl's hand, Earl squeezes him back. Joy and Darnell go to get the doctors. Randy embraces Earl.

"I Won't Die With A Little Help From My Friends Par" - Season 3

Earl and Billy lie in the street after being hit by a car. Earl, in a coma, flashes back to when he was a young kid at home. While his parents argued, he would turn on the TV and get lost watching the "typical" American family in order to drown out his pain. While in his coma, Earl creates a "TV World" to drown out his pain from the accident.
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Back in the real world, Randy finds Earl on the ground while the paramedics decide to help Billy first. Randy, afraid that God will take Earl, tries to get the paramedics to help him. Earl, in his coma, recalls times in the past when Randy could have helped him, but didn't. This time Randy decides not to run. He puts Earl in the back of the ambulance and drives off, leaving the paramedics and Billy behind.
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Randy is driving the ambulance when he finds Joy, Darnell, and Catalina with a broken-down car on the side of the road. Randy pulls up and tells them to get in; he needs their help. Joy tries to wake Earl using a trick she would use during sex - twisting his nipples - but when he doesn't respond, she knows it's bad.
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In TV World, set in what appears to be the 1950s, Earl is married to Billy. Joy and Darnell pay them a visit to drop off their wedding gift: a used toaster that their cat crapped in. When Joy tells Earl that they've bought the house next door, Earl has to figure out a way to keep them away. Back in the real world, on the ambulance, Darnell tries to shock Earl's heart back to a normal beat, but Randy's bad driving causes him to shock Earl's head and then do the same to himself.
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Joy tries to save Earl by jumping on top of him to perform CPR, but Catalina opens the ambulance doors to let his spirit escape in case he dies. When Randy hits a bump on the road, it sends Joy and Earl out of the ambulance on the gurney. In TV World, Earl thinks Randy is pushing him around his living room. He tells Billy that having Randy move in is the only way to keep Joy away. Back in the real world, Joy jumps off the moving gurney to avoid a semi truck, but the truck, not seeing Earl, keeps moving with the gurney attached to its grill.
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Joy, Randy, Catalina and Darnell find the semi and the gurney in the front yard of Sissy the truck driver's house. When they find Earl's mustache hair on Sissy's face, they know he's in the house. Joy talks to the crazy Sissy in order to get Earl out of there. Once they finally get him to the hospital, the doctor gives a grim report on his health.
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Back at Club Chubby, Catalina finds Earl's list in the parking lot. Randy is determined to get Earl to wake up, so he decides to have the group try different stimuli to bring him out of the coma: bacon, boobs, postcards/photos, celebrity magazines, singing to him, and even firecrackers. But nothing works.
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Even though the stimuli do nothing for Earl in the real world, they provide content for TV World: Paris Hilton cooks bacon in the kitchen, Randy is a cowboy with a gun, and Earl grabs Billy's boobs while Paris says, "That's hot." Back in the real world, Randy kneels by Earl's bedside to pray for him, asking God for advice.
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Randy tells Joy they have to find the young faith healer who helped them before. Joy is a believer, so they head off to find the healer, only to discover the young boy has lost his faith. He changed his mind about helping people after he saw Earl and Joy hurt people on the news. Randy shows him Earl's list to prove that Earl has turned his life around, but when Joy mouths off, the boy shuts down again.
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Doctors at the hospital are meeting in Earl's room to discuss taking his organs for donation. While things aren't going well for Earl in the real world, things are changing in TV World. His got a promotion at his job on "TV," but it means leaving all of his friends and family for good. In the real world, to prove that Joy is not evil, Darnell videotapes her "doing good things" to show to the faith healer. It works; the boy agrees to help Earl.
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Back at the hospital, Randy and Joy bring the faith healer to Earl's room. The young boy tries, but nothing happens. His father walks in to tell the boy that the whole faith healer trick was fake. He made the whole thing up so they could make money. In the end, the truth ends up setting the young boy free to be a normal kid.
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Randy sits next to Earl's bed in the hospital. In Earl's TV World, he says goodbye to everyone and walks out of the door, "following the light." But back in the real world, Randy reminds Earl of all the good things he has done. Randy takes the liberty of crossing a few things off the list and as he does this, he realizes that Earl is becoming stronger. Turns out the best way to help Earl is the list.