"Girl Earl" - Season 3

Earl is strutting around like the cat that not only got the cream, he also got a new wife. However, following a frenetic night in bed, Earl is happy to let a bucket of ice sit on his "husband parts" to ease the pain from Billie's energetic endeavors. Things get even better for Earl when Billie writes her own karma list; what luck to be part of a goal-sharing caring couple.
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However, Earl's love for sharing comes under scrutiny when Billie eats his chips. Not only that but she's also tracking his every move, has him dressing in super-skinny clothes and even walks into the bathroom while he pees! Randy tells Earl everyone does things others don't like; for instance, he cites Earl's habit of raising his eyebrow when he thinks. That's gross!
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Earl takes his mind off things by looking at Billie's list and finds a common name: Joel. Joel is a super-bagger from the grocery store and one year, while he was at the bagging championships, everyone in town stole everything from his apartment except the TV, which they left on so they could see when he was coming home. By the time Earl got there, everything was gone, so he took some of Joel's carpet.
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Earl visits Joy in her tipped-over trailer to retrieve Joel's carpet. While he's there he asks if she was annoyed by his habits. Joy tells him that's what marriage is; accepting other's bad habits. When he takes the gear back to Joel, Earl finds that Joel has become a recluse since the robbery. Earl apologizes for stealing his carpet.
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Joel tells Earl that when he got back from the competition to find his house ransacked, he punched the wall and broke his hand, which stopped him from winning the national bagging championships. Billie leaves after returning the fan she stole from Joel. Earl tells her they have to help him since they made his life worse. Billie doesn't see the point and Earl is stunned that his wife doesn't agree with him about the most important thing in his life: the list.
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Earl leaves Billie in the apartment and heads out to see how he can help Joel, who is now a lowly cleaner at the store. While they talk, Earl's cat-like reactions get Joel's attention and he decides that Earl should win the national bagging championships for him. As the pair begin a Rocky-style training regimen, Joel tells Earl not to see the food; feel the food.
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Earl becomes an expert bagger and wins the first and second round of the nationals, beating everyone on his way to the finals, where he is up against 12-time champion bagger, Vance. As Earl prepares for the big match in his dressing room, Billie comes in and tells him she's finished her list by calling everyone and saying sorry. This is the last straw for Earl and he flips out, poking Billie as he makes his point. Billie has bad memories of being poked, so she breaks Earl's finger.
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With his finger broken, the referee won't let Earl go out and bag for fear of losing his bagging license. Joel is still mad at Earl but Randy has an idea: they each have one good hand, so why don't they work together? Before Bagger Vance can be awarded the Golden Sack award, Earl and Joel step out and say they will fight, as a team, for the title. Besides, it isn't in the rules that they can't compete as a team.
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Earl and Joel step up and start to double bag. Working as a team, they keep pace with Bagger Vance, but things don't go as planned – their coordination is off. Bagger Vance creeps ahead and begins showboating for the crowd, but then he cuts his finger on that enemy of the bagger: the pineapple. Earl and Joel take their chance and using all their freestyle bagging skills, snag victory from the jaws of defeat!
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As Joel thanks Earl for helping him his reach his dream of being the national bagging champion, Billie apologizes to Earl for not putting her whole heart into her list after seeing how hard he'd worked to help Joel. Just when he thinks they might be beginning to see eye to eye on things, Billie tells Earl he needs to shave his mustache. There's only one thing Earl can think: "She's gotta go!"

"Love Octagon" - Season 3

After recovering from his coma, Earl can't get Billie off his mind. While in the Crab Shack, he comes to the decision that karma wants him to find her. He then discovers that while he was in his coma, Randy became the town crier and evicted Joy and the kids from her trailer while it is still lying on it's side. To top it off, Catalina has decided to become a Chapstick lesbian.
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Earl heads out to a halfway house where Frank is living. He wants to see if he can shed any light on the whereabouts of Frank’s ex-girlfriend Billie. But Frank's an inmate and wearing an electric collar which prevents him from leaving the house, so he can't help. Then Earl has an idea: he persuades Darnell to hire Frank to work in the Crab Shack. That way, Frank will be able to leave the house and help Earl look for Billie.
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Frank takes Earl and Randy to see Billie's cousin Jocelyn in the hope that she might be able to help them. While the others talk, Randy accidentally lets Jocelyn's parrot escape and runs outside to get it back. Frank turns on his charm and Jocelyn spills the beans about Billie. Apparently Billie’s gone off the rails – she robbed a liquor store the day she hit Earl and put him in his coma. Jocelyn gives Earl the pay phone number Billie called from.
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The trio make their way to Kenny's house to surf the web in the hope of finding more about Billie's whereabouts. They discover Kenny spends most of his time looking at a DILF website but they still manage to get a pay phone location to check out.
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While Earl, Randy and Frank stake out the pay phone, they come across Stuart Daniels, former cop and current bowler. Stuart tells them he hasn't seen Billie. He's lying. Stuart hit Billie with his car when she hit Earl. He tells them he spent days by her hospital bedside and when she woke up, he told her Earl was dead. Since then Billie’s been hiding from the cops in his apartment, scared of being arrested for Earl’s murder.
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Stuart and Billie run again, this time hiding out two doors down from Earl and Randy in the motel complex. Catalina delivers towels to the room and finds Billie just out of the shower. She uses the chance to try out being a Chapstick lesbian. It doesn't work. On her way out she bumps into Stuart and says she'll let Earl know they're neighbors.
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Earl, Randy, Darnell and Joy are in the Crab Shack. Darnell and Joy brush their teeth using the soda fountain as their trailer is still on its side. Earl has hit a dead end and asks karma what to do. Suddenly the phone rings: it's Kenny out at his place because of Kenny and Stuart’s "unique" friendship.
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Earl prepares to meet Billie but gets nervous as they arrive at Kenny's place. Frank is also affected by seeing Billie, who is his ex-girlfriend, and both guys decide they want her. After trading verbal blows they opt to go home for the night and come back clean and prepared tomorrow. Earl takes the opportunity to get Darnell to fire Frank so that he can't leave the halfway house the next day.
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Earl uses a list of Bret Michael's lyrics to make a poem for Billie. Meanwhile, Randy sees Jocelyn's parrot outside and makes a dash for it, leaving Earl to go get Billie by himself. On his way to Kenny's house Frank jumps Earl, tackling him to the ground. Meanwhile, inside, Billie tells Stuart she's going on the run by herself and makes Kenny tie himself and Stuart together. Kenny can't believe his luck!
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While Kenny and Stuart get close, Earl bursts into Billie's shack. Earl tells Billie she didn't kill him and confesses he thinks about her everyday. Frank runs inside but everyone ignores him. Stuart admits he was lying to Billie. Out of the blue, Catalina turns up and the bevy of suitors declare their love for Billie. Earl reminds Billie of the time when they both lost their way and yet found teach other. Billie can't resist and falls for Earl's charm, leaving Stuart and Kenny planning a future in Boca Raton with Jack Russell terriers.