"Creative Writing" - Season 3

Prisoners like to complain, but they're not the only ones who feel trapped. For instance, Darnell feels trapped in a crab-killing job that doesn't reflect his gentle nature; Catalina's trapped by being too pretty; Joy is trapped in motherhood; and Randy's hand is trapped in the pickle jar. The prison writing teacher challenges her class to escape into their imagination by writing a story about themselves where they can do anything they want.
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Earl's bunkmate Sonny is writing a story about beating up a gymnast, but Earl can't get a word on paper. Sonny tells him to close his eyes like he's driving on meth, and enter his imagination. Earl's imagination is totally white - the only thing there is the pesky gymnast, who won't leave until Earl stops thinking about him. Randy thinks writing sounds cool. He's already living in a world of his own, and has lots of story ideas.
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Randy's a superhero in his story. His right hand is H.R. Pufnstuf, and orangutan Richard is their driver. Evil Mr. Horn has kidnapped Earl and Catalina, and is holding them in the Crab Shack, which is guarded by a sumo guy with a bazooka and a puppet sniper. Randy shrinks himself to break in, then does battle with a bunch of ninjas to unmask Joy. He would never hurt a lady. Snap! Randy breaks Joy's neck. Lucky for him she's not a lady.
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Joy's having trouble with the boys, so Randy suggests that she write a story to cheer herself up. Once upon a time, there were two whiny brats who wouldn't do their homework. Their hot mother flies the boys through the air to meet someone who didn't do their homework, a giant dummy, who looks just like Earl. She asks Earl a math question - when will the train arrive? Standing on the railroad tracks, Earl gets it wrong and is smashed by a train. His bloody head pops off and the kids scream.
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Joy takes the boys to visit a big slob, who looks just like Randy. He's so nasty that moss grows on him, and things start sticking to him. First crumbs, then mice, then cars and buildings, Canada, etc., until he gets so heavy he falls off the Earth onto God's desk. God squishes Randy with his coffee cup. Joy tells the frightened boys the moral of the story: listen to what she says or God will kill them.
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Earl's bummed that everyone is more creative than him. Even Darnell writes a song to help him cope with the horror of killing crabs. Catalina writes her own Latin soap opera, "Catalina, Woman of 1000 Tears." On the eve of her wedding to rich Javier, Catalina risks it all. She has to spend one more night stripping in order to free her kidnapped brother. If Javier finds out, she will lose him.
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Evil Joy tips off Javier. When he sees Catalina dancing, he leaves, but she runs after him, to explain that she was just trying to free her brother. She didn't tell him because she's not interested in his money, only his heart. Javier forgives, and Catalina is finally able to cry tears of happiness for the first time.
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Earl tries everything to write a story, even using everyone else's stories. But nothing works, and ultimately God squishes him with his coffee cup. Finally he decides to stop trying to write something cool, and just write about regular stuff, like hanging out with the gang at the Crab Shack. Suddenly the words flow. Everyone can feel trapped in their everyday life, but when you're in jail, everyday life is the best fantasy of all. The class loves Earl's story and gives him a standing ovation.

"The Frank Factor" - Season 3

Feeling guilty, Joy visits Earl in prison, bearing gifts. Earl and Joy are delighted to spot their old pal Frank, whom they haven't seen in seven years, about the same time Earl and Randy got kicked out of their parents' house. They take up residence on a couch someone threw on the sidewalk, as a girl they haven't met yet - Joy - deals with her own problems. Impregnated by a one night stand who didn't leave his number, Joy's parents kick her out when her baby bump starts to show.
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Joy takes up residence at the motel, which smells so bad, she resolves to find a sugar daddy and fast. When Earl and Randy's couch is taken away on big trash pick-up day, they are once again homeless. Earl spots Frank's flyer offering a room for rent. The room in question is the kitchen of his one bedroom apartment. Muscled Paco, who likes to dance and sing in his underwear has the parlor. Overjoyed that they'll be able to pee in a half bath [the kitchen sink], Earl and Randy move in.
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Frank tells the boys that Paco is overcome with grief, having had to leave his woman, Catalina behind. She's convinced that Paco will return to take her to America. Earl and Randy love living with Frank, who drives a cool El Camino, and has a great job at the Crab Shack. The job will eventually become Darnell's, but at this time, he is still in the witness protection program.
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Earl and Randy need to get some money for the rent by the end of the week. At the Crab Shack, hooker Patty introduces her wealthy john, Yoshimitsu, who wears a giant diamond watch. Earl and Randy break into Yoshimitsu's motel room to steal the watch, delighted to find that Frank and Paco are thieves, too. Randy punches them both out, but all is forgiven - it's just the price of doing business.
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Meanwhile, Joy latches on to Tim, who wants to sample the milk before buying the cow. She's fine with that, even if her milk hasn't come in yet. Tim comes out of the bathroom dressed as a baby in diapers, and Joy knows it's not going to work out. Meanwhile, Catalina begins her journey to the U.S.
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The guys split the watch money four ways. Frank and Paco are going to invest their money in big guns to aid in their plan to rob an Indian casino, the same evening that Howie Mandel is scheduled to perform. Then Paco can send for Catalina and they'll be rich. Randy and Earl want to invest in their future too, so Frank cuts them in on the job, thinking that if there's four of them, his chances of getting killed will lessen.
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On the day of the big job, Paco and Frank leave to steal a van, so Randy and Earl chill at the Crab Shack, where they meet Joy for the first time. After his twelfth margarita, Earl decides to blow off the robbery for a quickie wedding in Vegas. Randy takes in an H.R. Pufnstuf marathon and forgets to go to the casino. Frank never comes back from the robbery, so Earl and Joy move into his bedroom and start driving his car, figuring he's on a beach somewhere.
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Frank admits that although the robbery went off without a hitch, things didn't go the way he planned. Catching a glimpse of Catalina, Paco crashes into an FBI van that has just dropped Darnell on the side of the road to start his new life. Their hostage, Howie Mandel escapes, and the jig is up. Realizing that if she hadn't taken Earl to Vegas he'd be doing 20 years, Joy finally feels guilt free.

"The Gangs of Camden County" - Season 3

Randy's missing Earl so much that he steals a car, hoping to go to prison, too. When no one shows up to arrest him after three days, Randy tries a different approach, and slaps a cop. Joy shows up at the lock-up to bail Randy out, because she promised to take care of him, and is a woman of integrity. Randy's just lucky that Earl's in jail for a felony Joy committed. Darnell's uncle got sentenced to 12 years for slapping a cop - Randy reckons he was lucky.
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Warden Jerry Hazelwood is a nice guy, but he's not too good at his job. He used to have a sweet life until his wife was elected governor, and ruined all his fun. When the job she got him with the National Guard didn't work out, she got him the warden job, figuring it wouldn't matter if he screwed up. But several inmates escaped after he allowed them to make ladders, and mandatory Bring Daughter to Work Day was a flop.
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The Warden calls Earl to his office to reward him with a certificate for one week off his prison sentence. There's a big problem at the prison - two rival gangs won't stop fighting. The Warden tried to lock up the two gang leaders, Hector and Jamal, in solitary for a month, but the fighting only got worse. If Earl can get them to stop fighting, the Warden promises him a certificate for a month off his sentence. Earl rises to the challenge.
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Earl's initial efforts to discover the roots of the gang feud are unsuccessful. Visitors Joy and Randy haven't been getting along, and Randy has brought Earl a snowball, hoping they can unscrew it and eat it together, like when they were kids. Earl asks Joy and Randy to each think of one nice thing about each other, and they manage to find some peace. Realizing that Randy and Joy's situation is just like Hector and Jamal's, Earl asks Ron to take him to the see the warden, sharing Randy's snowball with him on the way.
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The warden allows Earl to use his office to broker the peace, but Hector and Jamal seem reluctant to talk in front of the security camera. When Earl turns to disable the camera, they fall into a passionate embrace. Apparently, Hector and Jamal fell in love while in solitary, but decided to keep it a secret so as not to undermine their authority as gang leaders. The only problem: they can't stand to be apart, so they keep starting gang fights in the yard so they can share a moment together.
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Earl believes that Hector and Jamal need to be honest about their feelings, and Jamal agrees - he's sick of living in the shadows. Hector holds out; his gang will never accept Jamal. Feeling scorned, Jamal arms his gang with prison weapons, and the ensuing fight fills the infirmary. Meanwhile, things are getting better for Joy and Randy, as she helps him prepare to take the test to become a prison guard.
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Earl enacts a plan to show Hector what he's missing, working him into a frenzy. Hector finally asks Earl to bring Jamal a romantic love letter, but Jamal insists it's over. Hector makes a suicide run into an electrified fence, and Jamal rushes to him to save his life. He makes it look like he's punching Hector out as the lovers are reunited. On the outside, Randy scores 55% on his prison guard test.
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Earl convinces the Warden to allow Hector and Jamal to meet alone in his office once a month to work out the gang's differences. The gang fighting stops and the Warden rewards Earl with a month off his sentence. Earl learns that when two people really want to be together, they'll always find a way. That's when Randy shows up for his first day on the job as prison guard!

"My Name Is Inmate 28301 - 016" - Season 3

Earl survived his first night in jail, but discovers that his cellmate escaped.
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Since Earl’s cell had a hole in the wall he had to move to general population. Earl quickly learned that when one person broke the rules, everyone paid the price…and got thoroughly searched.
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Darnell, Catalina and Randy all came to see Earl in jail. Catalina gave the inmates something to stare at, Darnell brought some religious reading for Earl and Randy had a stack of questions, but time was up before he got to ask them.
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Earl thought he had found the right prison gang to hang with, the old timers.
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During Joy and Randy’s visit with Earl he asks Joy to let Randy move in with her and Crabman. Clearly Randy is having some trouble adjusting to life with Earl behind bars.
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Earl runs into an old friend in prison that shows him the way to survive…be invisible.
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Earl has realized that while he’s in prison, he must put the list away and put nice Earl away for a while to survive. And once Earl’s new friend Sunny rats him out to Glen, another inmate, Earl steps up to Sunny and gets thrown in the hotbox with the Glen.
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Joy is quickly realizing how dependent Randy is on Earl, and she is starting to lose her patience. To help Randy a bit, Catalina created a sock puppet named “little earl.”
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Joy and Darnell are woken up by Randy’s incessant questioning and Joy is about to lose it, but she finds away to keep him quiet.
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To make up the past to Glen, Earl made him a weapon however; Glen used it to stab Earl.
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Earl finds out that Glen messes up his chances at parole every time and he wants to know why, but Glen doesn’t make it easy for Earl to help.
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Earl helps Glen collect his Scout badges and enlists the assistance of the other inmates.
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Earl realized that by helping people inside, just as he did on the outside was how he would survive in prison.
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Randy leaves Earl’s shirt behind and starts making decisions for himself; He steals a car thinking it will allow him to move in with Earl, at the prison.

"The Trial" - Season 2

It's Randy and Earl's last night in the motel because they're finally moving to a real apartment. Realizing that he cheated himself out of being an adult, Earl has put himself on his own list - and moving is the third step, after getting his G.E.D. and a real job.
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Despite the new apartment, Earl feels like something's missing in his quest to become an adult. The phone rings - Joy needs Earl to come down to the jail right away. It all started last fall when Joy stole a truck and got arrested - her third strike. She took an unscheduled vacation to Mexico, where she ran into Dog, the Bounty Hunter. Now Joy's deaf lawyer Ruby needs Earl to find character witnesses so Joy won't have to spend the rest of her life in prison.
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Randy and Earl check on Darnell. The kids have gone wild and the Joy has literally gone out of his life - Darnell can't live without the other half of his heart. Earl realizes that what he's missing is a woman to share his life with. He met Alex a while back, but karma didn't think he was ready for a relationship and sent bees to sting their faces. Earl calls Alex, but she's married now. Meanwhile, he's having a hard time coming up with character witnesses for Joy.
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Joy's deaf lawyer, Ruby, thinks Earl will make an excellent character witness and he thinks he's finally met a woman to share his life with - Ruby's accent really turns him on. They meet with Joy to rehearse, but Earl's more interested in trying to ask Ruby out. Realizing that Earl wants to jump Ruby's bones, Joy lets the cat out of the bag. Earl fears the worst, but Ruby asks him to dinner.
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Earl fumbles the date, but Ruby tells him that he can cross "being a lazy lover" off his list. Life is finally perfect, but not for long when Ruby spies herself on Earl's list. A couple of years ago, Earl and Randy robbed the only deaf person living in Camden, knowing it would be real easy. They even stole her cat. Even though it's been one of the best nights of Earl's life, Ruby storms out, saying it was all a mistake.
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Before the trial begins, Ruby's sign language translator, Doug, eats a lemon square that Darnell has baked for Joy and cuts his tongue on a razor blade. The only translator available speaks Mandarin, so they need a third translator. Ruby is a great lawyer and has no problem discrediting the evidence against Joy - and Earl's testimony helps. But when the prosecutor plays several 911 tapes from when Earl and Joy were married, the jury turns against her.
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Earl feels terrible. All he can think about is Joy's family being torn apart, so he claims that he stole the truck, offering evidence to prove it. Joy doesn't get it, but Earl explains that he doesn't have three strikes, or a family. Joy thanks Earl and Ruby forgives him. Judge Miller complements Earl for saving Joy, while acknowledging that he's a piece of trash for waiting this long to do it. Earl is sentenced to two years in the state pen.
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Earl took the fall for Joy so she wouldn't have to give up her life, but now he's giving up everything - job, apartment, and a pretty deaf girlfriend - not to mention his freedom. Earl's old buddy Ralph is relieved to see Earl, his new cellmate, and hands him a sock full of batteries. Seems that Ralph spit in a skinhead's eye, and he's coming after them later in the yard with a pipe gun.

"Get A Real Job" - Season 2

Earl and Randy don't usually set the alarm clock, but today is their first day at their new jobs - stocking appliances for Mr. Waadt. Up until now, Earl has kept himself from becoming an adult - Number 273 on his list. Once he got his GED, it was time to start looking for a job. Earl learns that it's easy to get a job, but hard to find one you want to keep.
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While Earl's feeling good to be part of the workforce, Joy is enjoying her own little dose of reality. After stocking up on green punch, she and Darnell run into her deaf lawyer's "word talker," Doug, in a parking lot. Joy insults Doug, mistaking his old-looking wife for his mother. Miffed, Doug reminds Joy that her trial starts next week, and maybe she shouldn't have bought all that punch - Joy might be going to jail.
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Supervisor Reggie explains the perks of the job to Randy and Earl - everyone gets a one-week vacation and a store credit card. Twice a day the guys eat snacks from the vending machine. After four hours, Earl's already not sure if he can perform this job for the rest of his life. When salesman Ricky calls Earl to the sales floor, it's just like the first day he drank chocolate milk and realized he wanted to have a moustache for the rest of his life - Earl wants to sell appliances in the front of the store.
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Reggie explains that no one's ever moved from the back to the front of the store. It's a little ironic - the salesmen all wear Dockers, but they call the guys who work in the back "Dockers," because they work on the loading dock. The Dockers wear Dickies, which is what they call the guys who work in the front, because they are. Meanwhile, Joy prepares for the possibility of prison by trading in the Brat for a car that will accommodate her family, buying a life-like sex doll for Darnell, and learning to speak Mexican.
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Earl goes the extra mile to show Mr. Waadt that he wants to be a salesman. The Dockers think Earl is sucking up, despite his claims of being a regular guy. Earl remarks that he's spent his whole life making fun of people who try to get ahead - maybe he was wrong. All the Dockers (even Randy) try to sabotage Earl, but Mr. Waadt takes notice of his hard work and gives Earl a shot. If he can sell $5,000 in appliances by end of day Sunday, he's in.
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Now that Earl's wearing Dockers, all the salesman - led by smarmy Ricky - promise they'll do whatever it takes to keep Earl from joining their ranks. On Sunday, it looks like Earl has failed to reach his goal, when a little old church lady comes in to the store to purchase a boatload of appliances for a soup kitchen. Earl asks the Dockers to load the truck, but they refuse, so Earl does it himself. The guys are amazed - no Dickie has ever pulled his own stock! While he's busy, Ricky lies to the church lady and scoops the sale.
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Stress will make you do crazy things, as Darnell finds out, when he wakes up next to the sex doll. Joy has left him a video, explaining that she traded in the Brat because she needed a bigger trunk and learned Mexican because she's going on the lam to Mexico to escape prison! She begs Darnell's forgiveness and promises to send for him and the kids as soon as she can. It's closing time at the store and despite a rousing don't-give-up speech from Reggie, Earl turns his in his tie and name tag to Mr. Waadt.
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Reggie knocks on Mr. Waadt's office door. He puts down his store credit card, demanding to buy a refrigerator from Earl. Ricky's protests fall on deaf ears, as all the Dockers line up to buy appliances from Earl in a show of solidarity for one of their own. Earl wins the day and is promoted to salesman. Sadly, Joy's not having the same luck in Mexico.